PERFEKT AZ U R
Emotional cleansing is a process that can take a lot of time, work and energy, depending on the buildup of toxic residue. One preventative measure I have learned to avoid the buildup is to detox as it happens and reject the poison from the beginning. Doing so takes being present with diligent awareness to make conscious healthy choices. Emotions don’t own us; we choose them and choose to hold onto them. In every moment, as easy as it is to cling to emotions that can overcome us, we have a choice to reject, let go and say ‘no’ to them.
A few years ago, I arrived to a new sublet in New York City, one that I had found on-line from Vancouver through Craig’s List. For those of you who know New York City, you know that securing an apartment in Manhattan “sight unseen” is risky business.
Sure enough I arrived to a 5 story walkup that looked like it had been condemned with a broken glass front door window and a dilapidated inside stairwell that I was sure would not hold the weight of both me and my 50lb suitcase. Successfully reaching the top floor, all was forgotten when I arrived inside my apartment and saw the one and only thing that mattered to my singer-songwriter heart: a baby grand piano.
Within minutes of playing the broken-down and slightly out-of-tune instrument, I was rudely interrupted by a thunderous crash at my door. In walked my neighbor Penny, who had the overwhelming and intimidating presence of a 7’ tall 7,000 ton human being. As it turned out, Penny was not a fan of piano music, and told me that if I played one more note, that she would relocate me to the outside sidewalk. Looking up at her crazed eyes through a huge mop of tangled gray hair, I acquiesced and we made our peace, on her terms.
Penny left, but with me no longer feeling free to play the piano, like a sponge I was ready to soak up all the emotion left in the wake of her daunting presence, feeling those all too familiar thoughts: ‘why is this happening to me’? In that precise moment, words that I had first heard from spiritual teacher and author August Gold, came to mind: ‘This is not happening to you, Robyn; this is happening for you’. One breath and a slight shift of thinking, and suddenly I realized that Penny was not my problem. I did not have to react to her or take on the harmful emotions I was feeling. I had a choice to make, emotions to accept or reject. I chose to reject them.
After Penny’s visit, when I and everything around me felt so imperfect, I decided that in fact the opposite was true. Here was an opportunity to rise above my circumstances which only seemed to confine and disempower me. Here was a situation to embrace, a chance to dig deep, learn, grow and take back my power. In a space of inspiration, strength and fresh creativity, I went to my computer and without playing one note on the piano, I wrote Perfekt Az U R. Songwriting in it of itself is cathartic and cleansing for me, but in this instance, I was inspired to write uplifting music and lyrics that cheer for accepting the moment, letting go, being free, and trusting that however imperfect you might feel or how difficult times might appear to be, everything is as it should be and that a greater lesson is to be learned.
Today I thank Penny for giving me the occasion and circumstances to write my song. Ironically, her pain reminded me to begin within, connect with my inner power and move forward from a place of self-love and inner strength. I chose to move from the apartment too, but for the month I was there, I happily and peacefully wrote songs that evolved into my new CD, Connected: a collection of pop songs embracing empowering lyrics that cheer for unity, life, love and conscious living.
Robyn McCorquodale is a singer, pianist, songwriter and international performer who has toured all seven continents entertaining audiences around the world with her uplifting music, empowering lyrics and inspiring stories.
Check out Robyn’s new CD, Connected
Listen to Perfekt Az U R
